teeth speak

i don't think i've felt more depressed.

An uncle of mine once told my mom that he thought I was stuck up and that I thought I was too pretty. This was kind of shattering. I've had low self-esteem and have been overweight for almost twenty-five years now, how is this possible? I understand how being quiet can come off as being snobby, but why make these judgements about family and vocalize them to family. It's insulting. And when have I ever walked around thinking I was prettier than anyone else? All of my ego is fake, I assure you.

I really wished that the family drama last week didn't happen.
I'm embarrassed it even existed.
(The internet is public ) Public at that!

your first love.

i say fuck writing about things in detail.
there are a lot of things that i love, a handful of people i love.

let's just say my first love is music. maybe it's cause i grew up listening to music because of my parents and their 'oldies' era, at least it was decent. mom would always wake us on saturday mornings with music throughout the house. some mornings it was the beatles, others it'd be the bee gees (sixties era), and sometimes it'd be carole king. i feel the earth. move. under my feet. at the time i hated hearing music at 9am on a saturday morning, but thinking back, i kind of loved it.

i couldn't understand the kids that came from homes where their parents never listened to music. we've had a some point in time (+/- 1) at least a piano, four electric guitars, two acoustics, one bass guitar, four violins, and a clarinet. my house is full of musical instruments. everyone in my family has played at least two. i actually really miss playing but it pains me to realize how bad i am now. my skills are lost.

and now my musical taste has grown from the 'oldies' through radio 'alternative' and onto emo in highschool and college indie rock. but i can't help but want to listen to tapestry every few years. that, and some really good russian composers.

(this is such a copout entry.)

introduce yourself.

a little bit from the past and a little bit of the present. i'm natasha, a twenty-five year old girl (because i hardly feel like a grown woman). i'm a chinese-american that sometimes feels awkward when in settings of only caucasians as well as only asians. i used to hate my name until i was around the age 18 when i realized having less common names was cool. i'm the middle child between two sisters. we all get along well now, all being in different phases of our lives, but it wasn't always that way. i'm an aunt of two beautiful kids and the girlfriend of the cutest boy ever.

i've always been pretty mediocre (to my standards) in school. started of kindergarten with N's for not being social, moving on to B's in high school, and C's in college. my sleepy behavior only increasingly became worse as my education level progressed. i graduated from college with a BS in mechanical engineering and i'm not doing a damn thing with it but spending all of my money paying for it.

i have a job that i could've done as a 16 year old in high school. it barely pays for school loans, car payments, gas, plastic payments. i live at home with my parents so that helps on money issues. i drive the car i wanted ('08 mazda 6 in that color you see everywhere).

i have no idea what i want to do with my life; i'm in what all of my friends called the 'quarter-life crisis'. i will live to be age 100. actually, at the rate i'm going, i probably will not. i don't think i'm particularly unhealthy, but i'm working on getting better fit. according to bmi numbers i'm overweight, and that sucks. but i've been 'overweight' for about half my life now and i go through phases of loving and hating my body.

my teeth are kind of big. one time i went to the dentist and my sister made fun of over hearing the dental hygienists mention having to take a lot of x-rays because some patient had really large teeth. that patient was me. you almost always see my teeth. at rest, talking, smiling. if i'm pissed, you won't see them a bit.

favorites blitz! musical genre: indie. beatle: george. color: grey. season: winter. sport (play): tennis. sport (watch): basketball. vegetable: broccoli. pasta: farfalle. cheese: colby jack.

yeah, so uh, that's kind of me.

So, I think I might do this. These days might not be consecutive and maybe that defeats the purpose of this exercise, but I'm going to give it a go.

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anyone on here have a tumblr? let's be tumblr pals. i'm teethytash.

what's with all these pretty girls and ugly dudes? my bf is hot, what's wrong with yours?
(i'm sorry)

yesterday, lane and i were sitting in the chairs at borders, him reading and me sewing. sitting in those tapestry-esque seats next to each other made me feel like an old couple. him reading, me needle-pointing, all we needed was a rug, dog and fireplace. too cute.

why can't they make manly white leather driving mocs for my womanly sized foot?
srsly, my feet are small (compared to men) but not dainty (compared to most women).

gimme somethin' in between!
i promise i will wear these shoes all year round.
i don't care 'bout labor day!

I had a romantic-but-not-romantic dream last night about this boy that was in my ME classes that reminded me of Andrew Kenny but wasn't like Andrew Kenny at all. I remember he smelled good.

Pretty weird 'cause I haven't seen that kid or AK in (at least) a year.
Must be the myspace blogs I've read about AK's The Wooden Birds show.